Morbid jokes

Morbid jokes

Time

Hi, I have a question for you.

Did you know that reading this is wasting your time?

Yeah, sorry xD

Death

Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)

Mom

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

Part

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

Priest

Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!

Your mommy.

Migraine

One time, I took my wife to the doctors. My wife had a severe migraine and needed a medic. I waited for about 10 minutes.

The doctor walked out with my wife in a wheelchair. "Due to your wife's broken hip, she may never walk again," said the doctor. "She had a migraine," I said. "Oh, we know," said the doctor.

Policeman

What's the difference between an American police man and a Christian?

At least a Christian kneels in church.

Wheelchair

I broke up with my girlfriend and stole her wheelchair.

Guess who likes vegetables now?

Hooker

What's the difference between a club and a bar?

I can only get dead hookers from the club alleyways.

Difference

What's the difference between a yandere and a gun?

Nothing.

Flip them off the wrong way and you're dead.

Menu

I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)

Kid

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

Grampa

I told my grampa hello, and I said, "Hope you die!" hahahhhhahahahahahhahahahhahaha