Morbid jokes

Poopies in my undies.

Hippity hoppity, women are property!

I am cool.

Hahahahahahaha!

Loser.

Why do I call my dog a vibrator?

Because every time my dog acts like a dildo, I beat him, and when I beat him, he shakes. What do you call a shaking dildo? A vibrator, therefore I call my dog a vibrator.

What's the difference between a mother and a pigeon?

One doesn't eat their husband out.

Bowser ordered his Goomba guards to arrest me because I wrote graffiti on the walls saying "The Koopalings are evil!" "Kill the Koopalings!" and "Down with the Koopalings!"

What do you call an Indian lesbian? Minge-eater.

So, I got my blind friend a Big Mac for his birthday. A week later, he walked up to me and said,

"Damn, that was the most violent book I've ever read."

Why can’t Asians play baseball?

Because they can’t see the ball.

What's good about 9/11? It helped solve the world's overpopulation issue.

What do you call black people in pool?

Coco Pops.

Hi, I have a question for you.

Did you know that reading this is wasting your time?

Yeah, sorry xD

Joke.

Robin Williams' death was the most horrible impression ever given. (RIP Robin Williams, you will be missed!)

Guess what? If your mom ever wants to have sex with you, tell her to make another.

...... fuck the turtles...... THE END

Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.

LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!

What's the best part of not wearing a condom when I'm with my girlfriend? My mom went through menopause.

You know how on Snapchat "hmu" means hit me up? A school posted "smu." Nikolas Cruz responded.