Morbid jokes

What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.

Grandpa's last words: "Why do you have a chainsaw?"

The mother and her daughter went to the store. After they arrived, the daughter looked around and ran off somewhere. The mother realized this and took off looking for her. After a while, she found her tugging on a black man. The mother asked, "What are you doing?" and the daughter replied, "I wan't the chocolate!"

Hey girl, are you a farmer? Because you sure know how to raise a cock.

Dad: I'm dying.

Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].

Dad: Really, now is not the time.

Son: I'm sorry.

Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)

My dad and cancer go into a fight. I never saw my dad after that.

Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.

I bought a white Xbox to last longer, and I bought a black Xbox to run faster.

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.

Hi, welcome to David’s sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it. How may I help you?

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

What is the difference between a whore and an onion?

You don't cry when you chop a whore.

Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? She will let it go.

Remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.

Slavery has existed in the western world for 3 centuries, but in the Arab regions it has existed before and is still going on, so why don’t people talk about it?

Because it’s only bad when white people do it.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A lick-a-lot-of-puss!

What's the difference between Al Qaeda and Ms. Frizzle? One flew a plane into the Twin Towers; one flew a bus into the school.

Where did Janet go during the bombing? Everywhere.

What do white people and fences have in common? They both get jumped by Mexicans.