They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
What kind of a file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedofile
My humour is so dark that its life matters.
did you ear about the guy who got his entire left side cut off? well, he's dead.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
Instead of the line 'This girls on fire', my friend can relate to 'The baby in the oven's on fire, and I need to take it the fuck out'
my dad died in 9/11. he was such a good pilot
what do you call a bunch of retarded kids in a swimming pool? vegetable soup.
if anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.
Uma thurmans optometrist must have wide glasses sometimes
Americans don't like playing chess with muslims, last time they did play they ended up losing two towers.
So my teacher's daughter commited suicide. One day Ima go up to her and say "What's wrong did Logan Paul leave your daughter hangin'".
joe bidden said- he was going to a peding zoo
trump said -schools are not peding zoos
Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.
I was invited into a celebrity's house, thats what i told the cops at least...
I made a website for orphans’ It has no home page’
What did grandpa say before he died in the hospital bed?
"boy, could you put my phone on charging?"
why are people mad at me? all i did was the truth, and put the bible in the fiction section of the library.
A man books a session to see a therapist, as he claims he has a strong fear of the 15th, 9th and 3rd letters of the alphabet. So once the therapist, let's call him Frank has jotted that down on his notebook he says, "o, i c"
What game hurts you the more stages you survive? Cancer
