Morbid jokes
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.
Ever heard of a reverse exorcism? It’s when the Devil tells the priest to exit the child’s body.
I wanted to play as Kobe Bryant on my gaming console, but the game kept crashing.
What do you call a bus full of kids? A killstreak.
"Yes, officer! It was a requirement to run over that child. It matched perfectly with the beat drop!"
What do you get when you put a baby in a box filled with glass and nails and push it down the stairs?
... A boner.
My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.
As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
A woman went out on a date and said, “I’m thirty-one with the body of a sixteen-year-old.” The man responded, “Wanna show me? 😏” The woman took him back to her house and opened her freezer and said, “Take a look.”
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
What do you do when you see a kid alone? You beat them up and say, "It was self-defense!"
What does a light bulb and a school shooter have in common?
They both light up the room.
Dark jokes are just like water.
Not everybody gets it.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
What’s the opposite of an exorcism?
It’s when Satan has to tell the priest to come out of the child.
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.