Morbid jokes
So I ran into a woman the other day who says her vaginas is like a lottery ticket. She said it's because you have to be lucky to hit it... I thought it's because she was always scratching it.
Why are Japanese people's eyes so squinted?
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is?
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
What do teen mothers and their unborn babies have in common?
They're both thinking "Oh my God, my mom's gonna kill me!"
They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0
What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.
Someone dies.
Halloween! The day nobody questions the bodies dangling in your tree!
Therapist just mean the-rapist.
What does Osama bin Laden have in common with Spongebob?
Both can be found at the bottom of the sea, filled full of holes.
Me.
The joke is me.
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
There's a white guy, black guy, and Santa Claus. They get a hotel room.
White guy goes in room first and sees money on the table and he picks it up. A ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off your weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Black guy goes in the room, sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears and says, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." He gets scared and jumps out the window.
Santa Claus goes in the room sees the money and picks it up. Ghost appears, "Put down my money or I'll cut off you're weiner." Santa Claus looks at the ghost and says "I'm the ghost of Christmas past, you touch my dick I'll kick your ass!"
If you're reading this, then your life means nothing...
Have a nice day! 🙂😊
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Since Christopher Reeves can't play Superman, they got a new person: Christopher Walken.
What does a perverted frog say? Rub it.
Why don't witches wear underwear? To get a better grip on their broom.
What do girls and rocks have in common? The flat ones get skipped.
What is red and goes 200 mph? A baby in a blender.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Did you know that...the only reason you don't call priests "daddy" is because that's what you call them in sex!
Your mommy.
What is the fastest thing in the world?
James Charles when he sees little boys.
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you should never turn your back on family.