Morbid Jokes

What did the deaf, blind, mute, and paralyzed baby get for Christmas?

AIDS.

If you had 10 chicken nuggets and Jimmy tried to steal one, what would you have?

10 chicken nuggets and a dead Jimmy.

Candy is dandy.

But liquor is quicker.

Everyone laughs when a bully teases someone, but no one laughs when that person commits suicide.

The American salute starts with your hand facing flat towards the ground on your head.

The British salute starts with your hand against your head just like the American salute.

The French salute starts with your hands in the air.

The Saudi salute starts with you being bent over with a camel tongue in your ass.

I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.

There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.

How many are hungry?

A. 10

My family loves to have dance parties. My dad will just play music from his iPod, and I'll go to the light switch and make a nice strobe light effect. Everyone loves it, especially my younger cousin. He gets down on the floor and starts breakdancing! It makes him so happy, and he needs that extra joy in his life, especially since the doctor recently diagnosed him with epilepsy.