Mom's jokes
Your mom is so fat, she played bowling with the planets.
You're adopted, that's why your mom or dad never came back with the milk!
My mom left me at a very young age.
What do my cock and money have in common?
Your mom.
Why does an orphan cry when we say "ur mom?"
Because they have no mom.
Why can’t the orphan tell on people?
Because they got no mom and dad! LOLLL
Me sais yes to mom when she seis wha is 1 plus 1 and me is says NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! looooooooooooooooooolllolololololol
You're so skinny that your mom had to use a whole shampoo bottle on your head, but she still couldn’t find you.
Why was Huggy Wuggy not able to hug Cody’s mom?
Because she was so fat he couldn’t fit his arms around her.
Mom!
Your mom is fat, oh yeah, oh yeah, uh, uhhh.
What do frogs wear for shoes? Open toad.
What does your mom say to you? "Love you, moody."
Want to hear a joke? I swear it isn't about my life again.
My mom and dad made a joke together and called it "yeetsu" (me)!
I love your mom and dad's joke! They made it together and called it your name.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
Like this comment if: - Your mom is sus - Your mum is sus
Dislike if: - You are horny.
My brother and I were roughhousing and accidentally knocked over our bookshelf. My mom came in and started asking who knocked it over, to which I replied that I only had my shelf to blame.
Hey, can I axe you a question?
My brother likes to build "traps" to capture our cat so he can pet it. I said it wasn't gonna catch anyone, he replied with "not going to stop who?" I told him not to worry that it could capture any two.
Baby > commits start breathing.
Mom > commits abort.
Baby > commits ohshit.exe
Mom: Clean your room! Me: No, it’s my room, and I don’t want to clean it. Mom: You are nothing like Mrs. Smith’s daughter. Me: Well, I’m not Mrs. Smith’s daughter now, am I? You are the worst. Why are you trying to compare me with Mrs. Smith’s daughter? I’m not her, OK? I am not her, so stop! Mom: Do you know what? I pushed you out of my hula for 43 minutes! Do not make me hate you, because guess what? I brought you into the world, and I can take you out of it! Me: Bro.