Mom's jokes
Son, why do I not have an Easter basket?
Mom, you're 23, you don't need one. Ends calls, child support.
Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.
Fat moms.
Your mom gay.
(True story)
One day Sally's mom said, "I can just eat you up!" And Sally says, "No, you can't!" Then the mom asks why and Sally says, "Because I'm a beaner, and we don't taste good."
Memes
when your mom finds out you pour milk before cereal
Your mom is FAAAAAAAAAT as FUCK.
This midget in my school has two moms. I said, "Did your dad go get the milk?" He told me to shut up. I said, "I don’t shut up, I grow up like you should."
When your mom tells you to stop playing on the computer, you say, "Foot you!"
Mom!
Mom (DYM 65).
Me: MOM, I'm tired.
Mom: Take a nap.
Me: No, I can't sleep if Dad isn't here.
Mom: *hangs picture of dad on her room wall* Well, now you can.
Bully: Agh, you're ugly!
Me: Said your mom when you were born.
Adopted kid:
Hey, Alex, what are you doing?
Alex:
Nothing, just playing my game. Anyways, you know you can call me "dad."
Adopted kid:
OK, dad Alex.
Alex:
Oh, come on! My game! I’m winning. Let’s go!
Adopted kid:
I’m so glad I have a mom.
Your mom gay, Evan.
Mom hot.
What do you call your mom when she goes into the shower?
A shower ma! (shawarma)
Mom: I saw John Cena at WWE.
Son: No way, you can’t see him though.
Mom: God!
Son: What?
Mom: You watch too much reality TV (comes to smack butt).
Son: Also because I’m John Cena.
Mom: Where, where’d ya go?
John Cena: Hey, Mom.
Mom: I’m only 31, you’re 42.
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
Bro, if you think about it, your mom and God have one thing in common... They're both big.
I went to McDonald's to get a Big Mac. It was for his mom cause she was too fat.
I saw my girlfriend walking by. I told her, "Wow, you look so beautiful!" and then we started to talk. Then someone came behind me. She said, "What are you doing?" I said, "I'm flirting," and I remember I was talking to my mom, and my girlfriend was HER MOM, which is my sister, but my girlfriend/sister IS MY WIFE, but my mom is my wife too. Looks like I'm getting a divorced but which one, my girlfriend [or] my mom?