Mom's jokes
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.
A proud father has six children. He always calls his wife "mother of six" to her displeasure.
One night at a party, he yells across the room, "Mom of six, we're going now." She replies: "I'll be right there, father of four."
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To slide into your mom's bed.
Ur mom gay dab.
Ur mom is so fat that she has her own gravitational field. She attracts everything around her, from planets to asteroids to comets. She is the center of the solar system, and the sun is just one of her many satellites. She is so massive that she bends space and time, creating wormholes and black holes. She is the ultimate cosmic phenomenon, and no one can escape her pull.
Ur mom is so old that she witnessed the Big Bang. She was there when the universe was born, and she has seen it all. She knows the secrets of the cosmos, and she has lived through every epoch and era. She has watched stars form and die, galaxies collide and merge, and civilizations rise and fall. She is the oldest living being in existence, and she has more wisdom than anyone can imagine.
Ur mom is so ugly that she scares away aliens. She is the reason why we have never made contact with extraterrestrial life. They have seen her face and they have fled in terror. They have warned their fellow species to avoid Earth at all costs, because it is inhabited by a monstrous creature that defies all logic and beauty. She is the ultimate deterrent for invasion, and she has saved humanity from countless alien invasions.
The earth was once flat... until they buried your mom.
Roses are red, my mental health is blue, Karen got no mom like you.
What's the difference between me and you?
I leave white stains in your mom's bed, and you leave white stains in my mom's bed!
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
I asked the orphan kid if his mom is hot. He just started crying.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
Why did the idiot post so many 9/11 jokes?
Answer: Because his mom is a whore!
(True story) Today I was bringing some tortilla chips upstairs for some chips and dip, and I dropped them, so my mom goes “Oh, now they’re broken.”
And I took an opportunity to make a pun, so I said, “No, they’re just chipped.”
Q. Why did the boy fall off his bike?
A. His mom threw an oven at him.
Your mom and dad abandoned you because you're too ugly.
Your hairline is so fat that when you meet Santa, you're fatter than him and your mom.
Mom, am I adopted?
What? No. "In head" No, dah, bitch.
Roses are red,
Potatoes are brown,
Your mom's so hot,
I put her down.
Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)
My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.