Mom jokes

Fat jokes and mom jokes😂

1. So fat when she sat on the toilet, she said, "A B C D E F G, get your fat ass off me."

2. So fat, your dad and her were in bed and tried to kiss. He’d have to slap her belly and ride the third wave up.

3. Yo mama so fat that when she went to Japan in a green bikini, they all started yelling, "Godzilla, Godzilla."

4. Your mama’s so fat when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

5. Bill was so fat when he stepped on the scale, it said "to be continued."

6. Yo mama so fat, she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller.

Son: Mom, what's dark humor?

Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.

Son: Mom, I’m blind.

Mom: Exactly.

Your mom is so ugly, she's the reason he swerved.

Your hairline is so far back your mom can't cut it.

What's the difference between a cheater and your mom?

They both cheated!

When you end up pregnant...

Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

word

kskfkrke;welkt

kdkfgkyour

kfksdfksdmomfkdjg

Peter: *curses*

Sam: Wow, do you kiss your mom with that mouth?

Peter: Jokes on you, I don't have a mom.

Tony: *having a heart attack* AFSJDHFKJJD Peter, we talked about this!!!

My Mom said, "I have a daughter that killed herself for getting bullied."

Well, I said, "Have you seen her?"

Yo momma so fat that people jumped on her cuz they thought she was a school bus.

Your Mom so fat that she went on to commit suicide, but the roof fell off.....

BULLY vs. QUIET KID

Bully: I bet your dick is as small as a Tic Tac.

Quiet Kid: That's why your mom's breath smells so good.

QUIET KID WINS

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.

Boy/girl: I love you.

Me: I love me too! But sorry, my mom said I can't date trash. Go back to the trashcan.

The boy/girl: I- *Is depressed*

What's the difference between your mom and a fat female cow...

A female cow doesn't have a dick.

Guys, can we stop this stupid drama? I just wanna post my "Doin' Your Mom" lyrics and funny jokes! Please stop it!

I bet when your mom first saw you, she said, "Oh my god, this ain't my child. My child would look amazing."

Yo mom!