Kid: Mom! You lied to me! Mom: when? Kid: you told me that my little brother was an Angel! Mom: Sooo? Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony? Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way it really ruined her birthday.
The mom : "Where did Timmy go after exploring that minefield across the road honey?" The dad : "Everywhere"
Kid: " Mom I had a scary dream can I come sleep with you and dad " Mom: " sure sweetie sleep in the middle " Kid: " Dad can you get the remote out of my back " Dad: " That isn't the remote "
*Weird background music*
Little Johnny's sister Suzy sees her mom in the shower and asks what is that between your legs? Her mom responds, "That is my garage". The next day Suzy sees her dad in the shower and says, "What is that between your legs?" Her dad answers, "It is a motorcycle that gets parked in mommy's garage." The next day Suzy came to dinner with blood all over her hands. Her mom asks, "Why is there blood all over your hands Suzy?" Suzy says, " Well... little Johnny tried to put his motorcycle in my garage so I ripped its wheels off."
So little Johnny comes home from school knowing damn well he messed up his math test, his mother and father gets home and he tells them " mom I failed my math test" his mother aggressively says "get the belt" Johnny says "why?" His mother says "im gonna spank you for failing" Johnny says "so just like daddy?" His father turns red knowing what they did last night
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home. He'll probably leave her alone now. He doesn't eat vegetables.
Son:mom can i borrow 50$?
Mom:What NO WAY what do you think money grows on trees?
SOn:mom what is money made of
Mom:paper
Son:where does paper come from?
Mom: . . .
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
My mom said the happier a person is when sick the sooner they get better.
So I went to the hospital hooked up everyone's breathing masks to laughing gas.
mom said dad had the best pullout game... now im an uncle
joe: are your mom and dad nice?
zozo: well they were until i murdered them over a bottle of pringles
joe: oh so you are an orphan, and a murderer
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
me: Mom the weight scale wants your weight, not your phone number!
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What joke could orphan's never understand?
Your Mom jokes
My dad And I were fishing one day
That’s where he met my step mom
