I told my mom that I have a crush. She replied with: "So you like girls?" I said: "Uhm no no no." BUT I'm lesbian. Someone help, how do I tell her without her hitting me with a belt?
Mom:its time for sleep.Baby:is that what you think huh.Mom:*gives baby pacifier*.Baby:nice try hobo.Mom:well ill come back later to see if hes gone asleep.*few hours later*Baby:*still awake* Mom:why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!.Baby:Lol i told you nice try haha
I started crying when my mom was cutting up onions.
Onions was a good dog.
One day I came to my mom and said, "MOM!!! I can make a butterfly!"
Mom: "No you can't..."
Me: *throws butter out the window* Me: "Look I made a butterfly!"
lol this isn't funny but I hope you liked it.
so i walked into the kitchen and saw my mom had made cookies i stole one not noticing my mom was behind me.....so my mom said PUT THE COOKIE BACK KID!!!!and i said i wasn ́t gonna eat it and she said then she said nevermind i ́ll get you ́re father so my mom said HONEY DEAL WITH YOURE SON I ́M GOING TO THE MALL!! and my dad said son if ur not allowed to have a cookie before dinner!!so he went into his room and i heard the belt and i was going to run but i knew it would be worse so he said this will be you ́re punishment as he was getting ready to hit me i said daddy no please i wasnt gonna was not going to eat it but he said NO U WONT CHANGE MY MIND LITTLE BOY then he hit me THANK YOU FOR READING STAY HEALTHY AND STAY SAFE IN THIS TIME BYE!!! read more of my jokes they ́ll prob be around the website!!
What do frogs whar for shoes/open toad. What does your mom say to you/love you moody.
Q. How does a girl from Alabama know when her mom is on the rag?
A. She can taste it on her brother's cock.
My Mother: Wanna hear the song Chloe your the one I want on pandora? Meh: No I am tired of that song and I am annoyed by it. Mom: don't talk back to meh like that young lady. Me/ someone else? - -gets silent in da room- Brother: yea this song is very annoying but maybe better than the Chelsea song. Joke is here now what do you do if you hear the name Chloe?
Technically, we have all been deeper in our mom than our dads have.
i asked my mom if i was adopted she said no why tf would i adopt you and i said im gonna kill my self and she also said make sure you do it right this time
Bully:Agh ur ugly, me: said ur mom when u were born
When my mom said you have to listen to classical music at my new school. I had to listen to it at twenty four seven, after that I sang the song the wrong melody for my music teacher 😎
My mom told me drugs are my enemies... but Jesus said to love your enemies.
What did the orphans mom say to him when he got into trouble?
Nothing because he doesn't know his parents...
Your mom said I was ugly I told her she couldn’t see Her belly button because she was so fat . She said “I though I was the only one without one”
my mom holds up a hot dog and shouts, "WHO WANTS A WIENIE!?"
what do u expect when you get outta a bar
ur mom naked LOLOLOLOL
YOU WANT TO HERE A JOKE Your MoM
Somebody’s son said mom my dick has white stuff coming out of it, she said oh good one son so when’s the baby coming
I asked my mom is I could be Wednesday ( from the Addams family) She said no she said I would look creepy and weird she said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE, the outfit looked ridicules, Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;
