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Mom jokes

So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).

  • 4

    • What did Stevie Wonder's mom do to punish him as a child?

    She rearranged all the furniture.

  • 6

    • Yo mama so far that when she walks outside at 8 a.m., it becomes midnight all over again.

    I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.

    "Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital."

    "Aaron, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."

    Your mom finds a mirror on the scrapyard and says, "I would have thrown away a picture like that, too!"

    Moms have Mother's Day and dads have Father's Day. What do single guys have?

    Palm Sunday.