Misfortune jokes
"I bought my little sister a trampoline for her birthday, but all she wants to do is sit in her wheelchair and cry."
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
What does the blind, deaf child get for Christmas?
Cancer.
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
What did the blind deaf orphan child get for Christmas?
cancer.
What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas?
Answer: cancer.
Why can’t Sally get a hair cut? She has cancer.
Cleveland Browns
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
What did Sally get for Christmas?
Cancer.