What's worse than finding 10 babies in 10 dumpsters?
Finding 1 baby in 10 dumpsters.
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
So there was this kid being bullied by four other kids. I decided to step in.
He didn’t stand a chance against the five of us.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
A blind comedian was asked to do stand up for a hospital. No one laughed at his jokes, so he continued to sing, "If you're happy and you know it..."
The room was full of arm amputees.
Cleveland Browns
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, who want to kill them. However, the Europeans beg to have their lives spared. The Native Americans agree not to kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it.
The first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, "Shove it up your ass, if you laugh we kill you." So, he shoves the peach up his ass, laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs, and the Native American kills him.
They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, "I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed. But you had a grape, what happened?" The second guy says, "Oh yeah, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!"
