Miscellaneous jokes
Why did half of the world go to hell?
Because they were laughing at morbid jokes.
(You've been warned!)
Do you want to go to the pool?
Yes? Well, water you waiting for?
What do you get when you cross an eagle with a lion?
A griffin.
Manchester City is gay.
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
How do you make a dead baby float?
Two scoops of ice cream, one scoop of dead baby!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
You heard a conversation between Sans and Papyrus:
Sans: "Sub bro."
Papyrus: "DON'T 'SUB' ME BROTHER! YOU STILL DIDN'T REDINTEGRATE YOUR PUZZLES!"
Sans: "Easy bro, I have done a ton of work today."
Sans: "A skele-ton."
(Drum effect)
Papyrus: "OH MY GOD SANS!"
I like fire trucks and monster trucks.
Why are you censoring my friend Franz? He's just making jokes, but you admins get offended too easily, f*cktards!
What do Indian hip hop artists eat?
Rice rice baby.
My life.
Why can't dinosaurs clap?
'Cause they're dead.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and the other is just a watermelon.
What is the butt’s favorite computer?
The Tushiba.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.