Miscellaneous jokes
7 little children gathered around the bed Bill Cosby's fantasy.
All he wants to do is tickle the kids, it's as plain as can be.
7 cellmates gathered around the bed ready to rape Bill Cosby instead.
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What is a "dad?"
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm!
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."