Miscellaneous jokes
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
What is a "dad?"
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
Why am I idiot?
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
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