Miscellaneous jokes
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
Who does Adolph Hitler call in an emergency?
Nein, nein, nein!
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
A pirate walked into a pub with a ship wheel attached to his balls. The bartender says, "What the hell is that?"
The pirate said, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What did the man say to his wife? "Make me a damn sandwich, woman!"
What is a "dad?"
Q: Why did the Queer get fired from the sperm bank?
A: He got caught drinking on the job.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
Why am I idiot?
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm!