Miscellaneous jokes
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
What is a "dad?"
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
What did the Emo say to the surgeon? "Cut me, please!"
Why am I idiot?
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
Roses are red, Kevin Spacey is gay,
If you'd stayed with your parents, I wouldn't have taken you away.
qwertyuiopasdfghjklzxcvbnm!
What does Christian say when he wants out of jail?
"Bale me out!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they don't know where home is.
The egg that beat Kylie Jenner.
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
Cause she knows how I like it, and that I’m a little young to be in the bed, butt-naked doin' your mom.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
Why was the Roman soldier kicked out of the army? Because he was "Romin" around during war.