Miscellaneous Jokes

50 Thumbs up for 10 jokes you ́ve never seen!

Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?

IHOP

What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?

GAY

How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.

I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a "fret."

Daughter: Where was I born?

Dad: Alabama.

Daughter: That is nice.

Mum: We have never been to Alabama.

Dad: RUN!

I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.

Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!

Your mom gay.

My friends.

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.

Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"

"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."

"What else, Watson?"

"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."

"What Else, Watson?"

"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"

"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"

What's red and bad for your teeth?

A brick.

Why can’t moons walk?

'Cuz they have no legs, stupid!

There are more than 2 genders.

There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did, and the ended up liking each other and getting married and living happil- wait no, that’s not right. Sammy actually snuck in Rayne's house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Abajo.

Abajo who?

I have abajo of water with me.

What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!

Wyatt is a guy who still doesn't have a girlfriend because he didn't sit with Yanely and Jasmine at lunch. Funny joke, huh?

How do you poop?

Three friends were stuck in the desert. They were struggling and trying to find food when they found a magical lamp. They rubbed it and out came a genie, and the genie says, "Each of you friends get to have one wish." So the first friend said, "I wish to go home," same as the second one. The third friend said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were with me!"