Miscellaneous jokes
What did the dime say to the penny? At least I have more cents than you.
I fell down the stairs once.
iran
Helen Keller walked into a bar.
Then a table.
Then a chair.
Q: What was the name of Michael Jackson's last book?
A: The ins and outs of child rearing.
I wish my lawn was emo, because then it would cut itself.
"I wasn't that drunk yesterday."
"Oh boy, you took the shower head in your arms and told it to stop crying."
What did the skeleton say while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle?
I’m bone to be wild!
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
Bippity Boppity, I'm gonna shoot you off my property!
What's a similarity between blondes and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to turn them on before they start to suck.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.
I tried to take a picture of some fog. I mist.
The last joke about the dad was a joke. Don't take it seriously. Can't believe that people actually think that was true.
I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Yo mama is so fat, she sat on a quarter and popped a booger out of George Washington's nose.