Miscellaneous jokes
I was ridin' your mom like she was Mario Kart!
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
You wanna hear a joke? It's YOU.
Me and my friends were telling puns. My teacher said we should be “pun-ished.”
What did a comedian say at a show full of blind people?
"What's up?"
How do crazy people get through a forest?
They take the psycho-path!
Sat at a busy intersection with a slice of bread, waiting for a traffic jam.
Cut a hole in the rug so he could see a dirty floor show.
He took hay to bed to feed his nightmare.
Took a tape measure to bed to see how long he slept.
Put his nose out the window so the wind will blow it.
Died with his boots on because he didn't want to hurt his toes when he kicked the bucket.
I told my dad, "I just thought of something funny." He said, "Your face?"
My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
What’s red, gold, and blank in Las Vegas?
Tupac
50 Thumbs up for 10 jokes you ́ve never seen!
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
I didn’t wanna tell you, but I had to write this song, cause I’m in your house every night doin' your mom.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off.
Okay, moving on, you took too long. How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply:* Idk how many)
3: Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door.
How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply:* 3...)
Wrong, 4: Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door.
Why did Sully fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
Stephen Hawking drove too far from the wall and unplugged.
He also forgot to pay the power bill.
If you replaced the boss in Portal with a boy, you would hear Stephen Hawking.
When you're playing online with your friend, then you hear a kid scream: "No, Dad, please stop!" Scream ends with a gunshot.
How do you saw an apple with no mouth?
A P P L E