Miscellaneous jokes
Why was Goofy in the bathroom?
He was goofing off!
What is black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
Why didn’t the turkey cross the road? To prove that he was not chicken.
What's the difference between a noodle and a scaboodle fladooodle?
I can see your cameltoe, you nasty thot!
What do you call a Mexican without a car?
Carlos.
I hate two-faced people because I don't know which face to slap first.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
The point of war is not to die for your country, but to make the fresh recruit on the enemy's side die for his.
What do you call an elephant and a rhino mix?
Helliphino!
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't f***ing matter, it's still not f***ing coming.
I tried to catch air once... I mist.
Your mama so fat, she filled up Minecraft's block limit! lol XD
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
When someone pops up in your life making you all happy, you be like, "Who sent you?"
Sara's Mom was helping her prepare for her driver's test.
Mom: "Okay, any questions?"
Sara: "Yes. I actually don't know what "yield" means."
Mom: "Don't worry, Hon. No one does."
Anyone who makes fun of Prof should go to hell.
Your mama so fat, when she stepped on the scale, it said, "One at a time."
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.