Miscellaneous jokes
DEEZ NUTS
GOTTEM!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
Nah, I'm still working on it.
He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.
What is Forrest Gump's email password?
1forrest1
You other brothers can’t deny that she’s fly.
So, I was walking down the path of my life with Bigfoot, noticing the two pairs of footprints, mine and his.
One day, I notice his prints are gone. I look up to him and say, "You had promised you would always be there for me. How is this possible?"
He then looks me straight in the eyes and says, "Raw!"
Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!
Your mama is so old that she forgot her donkey on Noah's Ark.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Swiggity swooty, I'm coming for that booty!
Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Someone threw a cup at my eye. I told 911 that I was mugged.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Theodore. Theodore who? Theodore is locked, that is why I knocked.
How many babies does it take to paint a room red?
Depends how hard you throw 'em.
What did the kid with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves!
Just kidding, he hasn’t opened it yet.
What did Adam say when he saw Eve?
Answer: "Woman!"
Voldemort: Knock, knock.
Harry Potter: Who's there?
Voldemort: You know.
Harry Potter: You know who?
Voldemort: Exactly!
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.