Miscellaneous jokes
Not many people know this, but Soulja Boy was the lead role in a very successful children's movie a while ago. Released to theaters nationwide in 2006 was Honey, I Crunked the Kids.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
A.
A who?
A-bless you!
You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
Someone asked me what the worst mistake you could make while being at work was, and I replied, "Being a doctor and mixing up the oral and rectal thermometers."
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
How do you catch a unique rabbit?
You-neak up on it.
"Spell ICUP."
Whoever is deleting my messages, comment and say why!
I bought the world's worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible.
Q: What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
A: A pool table.
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
Year 10 English.
Why did the man fall off his bike?
Because someone threw a refrigerator at him.
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.