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Miscellaneous Jokes
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
The Man: "Sonny, why do you come to get some milk every day?"
The Son: "Because milk is important."
The Man: "Why don't you ever come with your mom?"
The Boy: "Who?"
The Man: "Your mom?"
The Boy: "I don't have a mom."
The Man: "I'm sorry for your loss."
The boy stared for a moment when two men came out of the vehicle and picked up the boy.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Any joke can be funny with the right delivery, except abortion jokes, because then there is no delivery.
Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?
The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.
Friend: I have the eye of the tiger.
Me: So what? I have the balls of a gorilla.
Parents: We can't come back to the zoo next week!
Three cowboys are at a fire talking about the best things they have done.
Cowboy 1 says, "I have taken out a whole group of raiders with my bare hands."
Cowboy 2 says, "I have killed a herd of bulls with my thumb."
Cowboy 3 chuckles as he mixes the fire with his dick.
I don’t have a joke but a poem about a sex/dark joke.
Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream!
Me: I must have a mirror in my jeans, 'cause I see you in my pants.
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
Your d*** size...
How to stop bullying?
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
What is the difference between a snowman and a snow girl?
Snowballs.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
