Miscellaneous jokes

How would Steven Hawking's mom punish him as a kid?

Power off his chair.

Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw

Are you a Chipotle bowl? Because I wanna eat you out.

Hey Autocorrect- STOP TAMPERING WITH MY CURSE WORDS YOU MOTHERDUCKING FORKLIFT!

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FCC’s

Rhgstvyvybuiucrxbukuvtxw is a really nice day to come over and Thursday morning at the skatepark. I hygybhbubugydedhepbzehnsiejrfuidjojdueu is a bdebdurbxornixrnidnrjbdirudjbdjebhsbeha hle se hav rhz rhombus rhxhbeihs Heudjebxrbxh rbxh.

TDS? More like STDs.

TDS - Too Damn Slow!

Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!

Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?

Lettuce ketchup.

Cremation: Your last chance for a smoking hot body.

In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"

People so dumb they think they're "transblind" like WTF, idiots!

I hate my birthday. For my first birthday my mom gave me my life. I liked it when it was new and fun. Now it's broken and sad and I wanna take it back.

"Where ya going?"

"When I die, hell, but right now, my room."

"Kill yourself."

"Kill me yourself, pussy."

People: Stop joking about such serious issues!

Me: Kill yourself.

So, a person walked into a shop.

Shop guy: "Hey RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD RETARD."

This is REALLY funny.

Please upvote, comment, and like.

Thank you very much.

Why did Morgan’s dad leave her?

She kept making dad jokes.

Why was the egg naughty? Because he wanted a good cracking!

Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. That's my best friend.