Military jokes
You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."
How do you become with NATO? Promise no more world wars by secretly performing military practices behind their back.
What do you call a terrorist in a wheelchair? A TANK!
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
I joined the military for the group showers.
Two of my grandpas died in WW2.
Their tower fell over.
What has legs but can't walk?
A veteran.
What do you call a wheelchair person with a gun? Special ops.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
Gay people would suck at war.
Q: What does Pakistan love to do with India when they go to war?
A: Surrender their 93,000 soldiers.
What is the difference between a Taliban outpost and a Pakistani primary school?
I don't know... I just fly the drone.
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
What is your arm's favorite military branch? The army.
Q: How tall was Hitler's grass? A: *Hitler salute* about this high!
Babies are like airstrikes; they get aborted.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
Name: Jack, call sign "triple".
School: Nova corps gun academy.
Location: Wyoming mountains.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
Why does the military pick orphans as fighter pilots?
Because homing missiles don't work on them.