Met jokes

Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.

Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?

Angela: His name is Kevin.

Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?

Angela: I don't know.

I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number.

We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over, which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden.

I met a man named Jebidiah on Xbox Live.

Two female mice met and one spoke:

"Yesterday I met a mouse. He was black, and he had wings, and he had some cool, sharp teeth. He said he only ate at night."

Other mouse: "Umm... that's a bat."

"That asshole! He told me that he is a pilot!"

What do you call an orphan with parents?

Idk, I never met one before.

Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were. He said, "I don’t have any." I said, "Wonder why."

Another bonus joke: Me: Hey. Orphan: Hey. Me: What do you do for fun? Orphan: Look for my parents. Me: Me, so they're not dead? Orphan: No, they just abandoned me.

More bonus: What do you call a homeless kid?

An orphan.

Last bonus: Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home?

Because they can’t find one.

lmao this is so funny, dark humor can be funny. Sorry, orphans!

I had the BEST day EVER.

1: I woke up.

2: I met someone I'm sad about.

3: I had fun and got them back again online.

But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st... XD

Chuck Norris met God once. Now God is the puny human.

Yo mama is so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.

Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!

But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3

I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.

When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked: "Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work?"

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

I met a talking lizard. The doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction! 🦎

How did the Iron and Gold start dating?

They met on TINder.

I went to my girlfriend's house one day in Alabama when I met her brother. He said, "Well, I guess there's no more you stuck in the dryer."

Someone: Didn’t we already meet somewhere?

Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore.

Met the emo kid today; he was pretty chill; he was just hanging out.

I met Lebron James, and he was so bald at the time that I could count his hairs.

And that's 1 hair and maybe 2.

I'm jealous of the people who never met you.