When Stephen Hawking entered Heaven and met with the Lord, after a short interview God asked : " Hey Stephen, I need you to explain to me how does all this stuff work ? "
I met a talking lizard the doctor told me he had ereptile dysfunction 🦎
I once met a skeleton, I asked if I could tell him a joke, he agreed, I told him it, he found it quite “humerus”.
How did the Iron and Gold start dating?
They met on TINder.
Hey, I met you like way way back, just like your hairline.
I Met Lebron James And He Was So Bald At The Time That I Could Count His Hairs.
And That's 1 Hair and Mabey 2
Met the emo kid today he was pretty chill he was just hanging out
Have you met bofa? Bofa deez blind kids!
Im jealous of the people who never met you
I went to my girlfriends house one day in Alabama when I met her brother he said well I guess there’s no more you stuck in the dryer
Someone: Didn’t we already met somewhere? Me: Yeah. That’s why I don’t go there anymore
I met a drum circle once, they were a huge hit!
Hi there! My name is Michael Grover, and I am an explorer. Ever since I’ve been little, I’ve loved searching for new things. As a baby, my parents kept finding me in nooks and crannies around the house. “On the search” as they would say. By the age of 5, I had been to every continent on the planet, barring Antarctica. For my 12th birthday, my parents got me diving lessons, and by the time I was 13, I could scuba dive to a depth of 40 meters, as well as go cave diving. I got a pilot’s license by the age of 17, and I learned to sail just before my 18th birthday. Instead of going to university, I decided to travel around South America, exploring its rich jungles and beautiful landscapes. During my trip, I met my now wife who was also an explorer. For our honeymoon, we sailed around the Caribbean and we discovered 3 new islands which we named after the cats that I had growing up. Over the course of my life, I have come across great treasures and wondrous experiences. But in all my life, and in all my travels, I’m afraid I have never come across a single person who cared about what you just said.
I asked a girl I met if I could take her out to dinner The joke is I new right after she said I'll call you She was lying to me, not surprised even a little The next joke was a part of me hoped she would call , but did I really think she was going to, I'll never be good enough for anyone, what was I thinking, why did I even bother to ask her in the first place, I think it was just to prove I was right , I'm unwanted LONELINESS EQUALS SADNESS
Have you ever met a knight with a metanite at night?
Two to the one from the one to the three I like good pussy and i like good trees Smoke so much weed you wouldn't believe And i get more ass than a toilet seat Three to the one from the one to the three I met a bad bitch last night in the d Let me tell you how i made her leave with me Conversation and hennessey I've been to the motherfuckin' mountain top Heard motherfuckers talk, seen and dropped If i ain't got a weapon i'ma pick up a rock And when i bust yo ass i'ma continue to rock Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet It's real easy just follow the beat Don't let that fine girl pass you by Look real close 'cause strobe lights blind
My girlfriend asked me to tell a joke. I told her to look in the mirror. We never met again
I was listening to my children praying. And my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?" I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings are born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother." She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month. Like the other ones that ran away.
You know the twin towers employees were supposed to meet a good football team instead they just met the jets.
I asked my dad what his previous job was he said : I was a post until I met your mother