Met Jokes

It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta they discussed about their hobbies. Churchill said : " I collect the jokes people tell me about me". "That's a coincidence- said Stalin,- I collect the people who tell jokes about me."

I remember my dad's last words "I met your father."

everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

My uncle died in the 9-11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday, I chose the dog

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked. "Daddy why are you banned from coming to elementary school?", The dad calmly replies. "Because that's how I met your mother.".

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met, the perfect birthday gift. Chlamydia.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

This is the true worst joke ever: What did the person say to the other guy when he met him? Hi!

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes, and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY but I didnt know they're conjoined twins.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed "I want to see your face again mommy...". A miracle happened, his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said "I want to see you too dad". He looked at his father's grave but nothing happened

Suddenly a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked "were you looking for me?"

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad)

little johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over, as she dose she is met by the principal. they go into his office and the principal say "your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." the mother responds "he is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? bring him in here." a boy walks in and johnnys mother says "this isnt my son, bring him in here i would like a word with him." the principal replies "ma'am, this is clouds." the mother feints

Roses are red violets are blue i thought voldemort was ugly but then i met you.

There was (1) girl. She met (+5000) guys. She had sex with each of them (x7). She became... - flip screen (=).

(To a mexican person) When i first met you I thought you were going to say,My name is enrique i have a job for you.

So I met Micheal Jackson before he died he dragged me to his bed

A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died. When she met God she asked Him how come you didnt answer my prayers? God replied 'i did, i kept sending men to rape you but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion'