Met Jokes

I met an African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

A husband came back from a business trip and found out that his wife was pregnant. At first, he got a bit suspicious, but then he just ignored it and hugged his wife with happiness. The second when he met his friend and told him the news, the friend just said, "Wait, what? I thought she was on pills!"

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

The image is a flow chart titled "Marvel Viewing Order." It includes a mix of Marvel movies and other films, shows, and people, including Captain America, Captain Marvel, Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, Thor, Iron Man 2, Avengers, Iron Man 3, Chicken Run, Age of Empires IV, How I Met Your Mother, Boss Baby, Looney Tunes Back in Action, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, The Disappearance of Madeleine McCann, Scooby-Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed, The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl, Summer Heights High, Lego Indiana Jones 2 The Adventure Continues, The Cat in the Hat, Ted Cruz, and Avengers Endgame.

I met a girl that was 6'5" and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm. She really said "oh snap" like a twin tower.

My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.

James Bond gives all the ladies he's met the perfect birthday gift: Chlamydia.

A young boy walked up to his dad and asked, "Daddy, why are you banned from coming to elementary school?"

The dad calmly replies, "Because that's how I met your mother."

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii. Then I met my girl Zendaya on board. She was shaking her ass and playing with her penis. Then she asked me, "Hey, you wanna make love in the cabin?" I said, "Sure, sweet thang," gave me her number, kissed me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.

A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.

He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.

The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.

Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"

One weekend some distant family members that I hadn't met before came over. My cousins (who I also hadn't met before) were fighting, so I decided to separate them and place them in opposite corners of the room (thinking it would help).

My mom took me to an empty room with tears in her eyes and told me they both ended up dying.

Well, SO-RRY, but I didn't know they were conjoined twins.

So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

When you met her first before your parents met each other. (In the case of your mom dating her dad).

So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.

Little Johnny's mom got a call from school saying to come over. As she does, she is met by the principal. They go into his office and the principal says, "Your son is going to be suspended for a week for blowing clouds in the bathroom." The mother responds, "He is fifteen, how is he blowing clouds already? Bring him in here." A boy walks in, and Johnny's mother says, "This isn't my son, bring him in here, I would like a word with him." The principal replies, "Ma'am, this is Clouds." The mother faints.