What did the slaves say when they met their soon to be masters?
“Aaah a ghost!”
I met a fat chick at the beach. People started asking me what I use for bait. Or do you want us to help throw the Whale back in the water?
After every line, say “I’m a man.” I went to the club. (I’m a man) I met a girl. (I’m a man) I took her to the bar. (I’m a man) We got some drinks. (I’m a man) I took her home. (I’m a man) We got in bed. (I’m a man) She whispered in my ear, (I’m a man)
I met a really greedy oyster. It was quite shellfish.
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter".
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter".
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter".
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important"?
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here".
The woman became extremely uncomfortable with the man she had just met. While he lay beside her, romantically kissing and stroking her neck he whispered “I called the number you gave me at the bar tonight. Someone named Alvin answered who has never heard of you.”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What is a orphans least favorite show: “how I met your mother”
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
two antennas met on a roof and got married the ceremony wasn't much but the reception was incredible.
They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why KRIS and COMMON SENSE haven’t met yet
Chuck Norris met god once. Now god is the puny human.
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
I saw a pretty girl walking outside. I asked for her number. We met up and began to have sex. She told me to turn over which was weird. I felt a stinging pain in my ass all of a sudden
I met a man named Jebidiah, on X-Box Live.
2 fe male mouse met and one spoke yesterday I met a mouse he was black and he had wings and he had some cool sharp teeth he said he only at night
other mouse : ummm...thats a bat
that asshole he told me that he is a pilot
I had the BEST day EVER. 1:I woke up 2:I met someone im sad of 3:I had fun and got them back again online. But sadly the order was 2nd, 3rd, 1st.. XD
Yo mama so ugly I heard that your dad first met her at the pound.
What do you call an orphan with parents? Idk I never met one before Bonus joke: I went up to an orphan and asked where his parents were he said “I don’t have any” I said “wonder why” Another bonus joke: Me: hey orphan: hey me: what do you do for fun Orphan: look for my parents Me: me so their not dead? Orphan: no they just abounded me More bonus’s: what do you call a homeless kid An orphan last bonus Why don’t orphanages teach kids about home Because they can’t find one lmao this is so funny dark humor can be funny sorry orphans
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
