Meeting Jokes

Everyone else seems to have met my dad. I only have the mugshots.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

"Knife to meet you all!"

Like if you meet someone emo.

A white guy was telling his friend about this girl he hooked up with. His friend asks, "Did you get her number?"

He replies, "No, but it's okay, I'll see her at the next family reunion!"

A two-panel comic shows a job interview. In the first panel, a bald interviewer with a blue tie says, "So, I came across your resume," holding a paper. The second panel shows the interviewer holding the same paper with a scribbled drawing on it, saying, "I do apologise."

One day I was texting my friend on Roblox and I made her mad. She told me she was gonna kill me.

That night, she told me to meet her at the bathroom at 2 PM sharp, but she made "sharp" in all caps. So I went to the bathroom at 2 PM the next day. Now I know what she meant by "SHARP" on Roblox... she brought a knife, and I was in hell by then. Like for the next part!

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Anonymous. Nice to see so many new faces.

A guy walks to his friend's house. His friend says, "Where is your girlfriend?" The guy says, "Meet me at the cemetery in a week."

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is...

Wait, where are we again?

I met an orphan with a dog yesterday. I chose the dog.

Kids when they meet a kid out of home alone be like: “At least your mom came back!”

A guy walks into an AA meeting and asks for a road map.

My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house.

So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard. One said, "What tree?"

I replied, "You’ll know when you get here!"

My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?

To tie his kangaroo down, sport!

Why are Black women dating white men?

So their kids don’t have to worry about not meeting their father.

So, I met Michael Jackson before he died. He dragged me to his bed.

I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.

Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(