Two people just met. One said, “We should do some bonding.” The other nodded and said back, “Titanic.” The first just looked confused so the second one just said, “Sorry, thought that would be a good icebreaker.”
Me: *Meets girl, starts to form crush* Me after I get enough courage to talk to her: “Are you a casket lid because I want you on top of me*
“What do you call my friend group?* *Suicide Squad*
Why aren't koalas actual bears? Because they dont meet the koalafications
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday. Not a soul in sight.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
what did the woman do after meeting up with a rapist?
sue the dating site for matching her with him
When is it bedtime in the jacksons house. When the big hand 🖐 meets the little 🤚
Can all the hot depressed, suicidal, guys just text me so we can meet up and cry together about how depressed we r. For real
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint...my....house.’
John : hi boss it is raining heavily today so I would not be coming
Boss: u stated in ur job application that swimming was it hobby so see u at at 11am
A womens knitters group is having a meeting and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies. One woman says "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system". Another knitter says "I'm taking Folic acid to help my baby's brain". Finally one woman says "I'm taking Thalidomide". All the women turn to her and say "Thalidomide ! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?" The woman shrugs her shoulders and says "I don't know how to knit arms". (Told to me by a woman knitter)
An attractive man and a blonde meet in an elevator. "Where are you heading today?" the man asks. "I'm going down to give blood." "How much do you get paid for giving blood?" "About $30." "Wow," says the man, "I'm going up to donate sperm, and the sperm bank pays $100." The woman slightly annoyed gets off the elevator. The next day, the man and woman meet in the elevator again. "Fancy meeting you again. Where you off to today?" "Sperm bank," she mumbles with her mouth full.
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says " Come! Meet Jesus!" One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first"
"And then I said KNIFE to meet you."
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in STABle condition!"
(demons in my head) *i laugh to meet them*...
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We’d like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
i say hi to sans sans shows is hand and say's is hand to meet you and we both lath
