Meeting jokes

Can't wait to meet you!

So join the Depression family!

We open real soon!

Try best to hold onto sanity!

Me: *in a family meeting*

Mom: Ok guys...

Me in my mind: BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA BLA

Why aren't koalas actual bears?

Because they don't meet the koalafications.

Been single for a couple of years and then I met this Muslim girl. She soon put the spark back into things.

You know I really love going to school and meeting my crush.

All I have to do is go to the Africa section.

Hi guys, I feel forgotten lol. I feel like a banana peel... no one will talk to me. Oh, I got a good idea! We do a Google Meet!

Charlie Chaplin and Tork Poettschke meet.

Chaplin: "What can I do for you?"

Poettschke: "Please get away from me."

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because he wanted to get to the other side and meet his friend.

This is the true worst joke ever:

What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?

Hi!

I always enjoy family reunions.

It's always a good time meeting up with my exes.

Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?

Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.

If Hillary and Biden got locked in a room together, all they would talk about is how to ruin America and make a plan to steal children.

After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.

Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"

Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."

Lord: "My dog died?!"

Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."

Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"

Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."

Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"

Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."

Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"

Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"

Gwen, don't worry, everyone hates you, by the way! Have anything to say? Then who cares? You can't stop me.

Unknown person is going to give you a hint of who hates you...we were in a club, a meeting...btw this is you!

[Image of Gwen]

Later, Bitch!!!!!!!!

Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.

She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"

What did Bill Cosby say on the second date?

"Hi, nice to meet you."

So we were working with a new client at work, and my boss farts. He said, "A little gas never killed anyone."

I was walking with my black best friend, and he was meeting my parents, and after I got there, they said, "Who's this?" I said, "Well, I own him."

White people: *come to America, meet natives and take food, kill them, rape them, and enslave them.*

Natives: Can y-

White people: Hey, you remember all that horrible sh*t we did to you? Let's have a good laugh about it over dinner with your buddies and my new wives.

If you had a dollar for every time someone said you're ugly, you'd meet someone who wouldn't say you're ugly.