Meat

Meat jokes

Vegan

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

Priest

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.

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  • Sandwich

    I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.

    Memes

    Microwave

    What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?

    A microwave won't brown your meat.

    Store

    While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

    Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

    Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

    You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

    Difference

    What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?

    Only one moans when I put my meat in it.

    Difference

    What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?

    A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.

    Swimsuit

    Swimsuit

    Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?

    To separate the meat section from the dairy section.

    Cow

    What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

    What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.

    Priest

    What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"

    Homework

    What does a chicken give you?

    Student: Meat.

    What does a pig give you?

    Student: Bacon.

    What does a fat cow give you?

    Student: Homework.