Meat jokes
Why was the two-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the meat section from the dairy section.
Did you hear about the new P. Diddy meal in McDonald's? It's a 56-year-old meat inside a 12-year-old bun.
What’s a hairdresser’s favorite roast? Flat iron roast.
What are the basic ingredients when a cannibal makes a sandwich?
2 slices of Brad.
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.
What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns.
I like my women the way I like my sandwiches... A little meat between their buns.
Who's better, Hitler or Jesus?
Hitler: Jesus made bread for 1000 whereas Hitler made meat for 10,000. 😅😅😅😅 (no offense)
(To circumcised people)
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
what do you call a cow that fell?
Ground beef.
Your forehead is so big you could roast meat on it.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs? Your mom.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"
I work with animals!
What do you do?
I’m a butcher.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
What is 6 inches and long?
A Slim Jim.