Meat jokes
What's the difference between a priest and McDonald's? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.
I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"
"What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.
The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"
Alternative punchline:
"I had to call social services, she was only 14."
What is a cow that's good at math good for?
Meat pie.
How do lions 🦁 like their steak?
"Roar!"
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
How do you get a black girl to suck your meat?
Put barbecue sauce on it.
What do you call an infant with no legs?
Ground beef.
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
I was hitting my hand, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I said I'm beating my meat.
What does Michael Jackson and McDonald's have in common?
They both use 30-year-old meat in between two-year-old buns.
Who was the knight on the Round Table that only ate meat?
Sir Loin.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
Question; Why do they call Melania Trump the "Walk-In" Freezer?
Answer; It's because that is where EVERYONE goes to "Hang Their Meat"!
Why do vegans hate sex?
They don't want to say they had a meat in 'em.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.