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Meat Jokes
Whatâs the difference between a microwave and a 10 year old girl?
The microwave doesnât fart out blood and diarrhea when you pull your meat out.
Why did Jeffrey eat all the ice cream in one sitting?
To make room in the freezer for his special meat.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
What is the difference between a woman and my fridge?
Only one moans when I put my meat in it.
Big feet equals mini meat.
What do McDonald's and priests have in common?
They both shove their meat into 10-year-old buns.
What is Meat Loaf's new name now that he has passed?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow that fell up the stairs?
Ground beef.
Did you know that McDonald's made a Michael Jackson burger? Itâs a 50-year-old piece of meat in a 12-year-old bun.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
If a gay person is vegan, how does he have sex? He will keep getting meat stuck in his ass and in his throat.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? âPut it on my bill.â
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you canât sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacherâs eyes crossed? She couldnât control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, âmini-sodaâ).
12. Why couldnât the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you canât use âbeef stewâ as a password. Itâs not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldnât you write with a broken pencil? Because itâs pointless.
What is the origin of the glory hole?
The origins can be found in San Francisco, California, where historians claim that a meat thermometer was sticking out of a hole from both sides, especially the divider between bathroom stalls inside the men's restroom used for an anonymous massage for gay men by gay men in San Francisco, CA, in the Wild West.
Children and your meat are actually quite similar.
At first you seem weirded out by spanking it, but later on you start to enjoy it.
Do you ever consider during the cremation that the meat is well done?
I got breast implants for my wife to squeeze on as she thrusts on my meat while straddled in between my legs.
Her husband prepares them a romantic dinner. The wife tells her husband about her desire for it. The husband was clueless about such acts. So, the wife tells him to strip naked on the couch and lay underneath her naked in the reverse missionary position.
She starts thrusting with his meat inside of her and starts waiting for him to thrust along with her thrusts. However, the husband didnât know what to do, so he just laid there. Suddenly the wife had an urge to pee, but held it in because her husbandâs joystick was right inside her. She loses control after a while and lets one drip out. The wife apologizes profusely and continues thrusting her husband. A couple of minutes later, she feels the urge again and lets another drip of urine run down the husbandâs schlong to his pelvis.
The husband throws the wife from the couch, gets up, and says,
"Honey, if you think Iâll be screwed by you for more of that, youâre out of your mind."
How do lions đŠ like their steak?
"Roar!"
