Meal jokes

What do you call a food fight that's been going on for years?

A war of nutrition.

What do you call it when you're trying to find out what someone had for lunch?

An ingestigation.

I watched a movie with a lot of ketchup on the ground.

I don't know why my friends look disgusted.

What happens when you eat a cat?

I love to eat cats for dinner!

What do you call a well endowed gay male who is also in a wheelchair?

Meals on wheels.

What is King Kong for dinner?

Humans.

Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?

Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.

What did the guest say when he arrived at the peanut butter's dinner party?

“Nice spread!”

What does a British cannibal's favorite meal?

Fish and chaps.

Nah, they eat emo meals.

Eating a clock is so time-consuming.

Ah, you wanna read a cheeseburger joke for your friends to hear.

Nah, bro, you're just going to get cheese on your burger.

You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".

You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.

What is the best time to eat dinner?

When you're hungry.

You're at a buffet, you think you're hungry for two, but misfortune happens when you think of yourself. You get stuck looking at sides in the buffet. A roly poly gal you see in the corner of your eye, eyeballing the main dishes in front at the end. You go in for the pickings, you get intercepted by a far more hungrier matter, but you find yourself getting slammed over the buffet table, and realize you are gasping for air, and she is tenderizing you for dinner.

Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.

As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.

Then one stops and asks his companion:

"Does this taste funny to you?"

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

Your mom is so fat when she skipped a meal, the whole stock market crashed.

Your mom is so fat she tripped, and I didn’t even laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.

Saw that shit on Roblox.

In a bowl of golden delight, I savored each bite so bright, The potato salad, oh so fine, Left me feeling oh so divine.

The diced potatoes, oh so neat, In a dressing so cool and sweet, With onions and eggs, a treat, My taste buds did dance and greet.

The mayonnaise, a creamy dream, With mustard's zesty scheme, Together they did blend so well, My senses did take a spell.

The herbs, a fragrant delight, Added flavor with their might, Parsley and dill, a perfect pair, In this salad beyond compare.

So here's to the potato salad, A culinary work of art, That left me full and satisfied, And in my heart, a special part.

My friend and I joined a french fry eating contest, but I just couldn't ketchup. So we switched to cheeseburgers, but I still couldn't mustard up the speed to lettuce win. I mayo not have thought this through.

So we switched to fruits, but when it got to the watermelons, I started to feel a little green. My friend couldn't seed the point of us continuing anymore. I just couldn't digest the stress, I guess! :D