ME jokes
"Shout out to entity...welcome to hell!"
"Every time I see your icon I vomit lol."
"Get a life... hey I'm violet olivegarden how can I help you if you need me to disc someone ill help..."
Girl: Hi (flirt)
Boy: Hi? (reluctant)
Girl: I'm a cheerleader captain, I'm also single (flirt).
Boy 2: Excuse me?! He's MY MAN...
Prostitutes remind me of chewese.
Does anyone have an Xbox One? My gamertag is Chalkyfrog11. Add me and comment on this post telling me your gamertag.
Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."
Me: Sister, stop stealing my stuff or I will make you feel bad.
Sister: No, I won't stop.
Me: Fine, I'm telling the world what you did.
Sister: What? You will see when I post it.
Sister: WHY DID YOU TELL THEM I PEED ON SANTA CLAUS WHEN I WAS 12 YEARS OLD?
Me: BECAUSE YOU DON ́T HAVE A LIFE.
What do a blackjack dealer and my uncle have in common?
They both hit me face down on the table.
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
Imagine being depressed. Couldn’t be me.
My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.
Your friend took a shower and used Pantene, but I got a watermelon to keep me clean.
I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
I couldn’t quite remember how to catch a boomerang, but eventually it hit me!
A blind old guy asked me if I had any money to spare. I laughed and said I had a gold tooth.
I don't have any now.
You cat to be kitten me right meow!
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
I played piano at a Worthmore disabled elderly center. Then after I was done, I said, "How about you give me a standing ovation?"
I regret it to this day. Now I am forced to live here at Worthmore, and sit on my wheelchair, sad and lonely.
Yo mama eat so much that she threw up a thousand times and said, "Help me, son!"
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"