ME jokes

What do you call a green camel?

My parents left me.

El, can you grab me that bow?

Why was your mom so into me?

'Cause she was the man.

I forgot what lightning was. Then it struck me.

A lot of people get mad at me for my bad jokes. I always thought they were punderful.

symple: Why did you include me in this fuckery?

symple: And why the fuck am I the profile picture?

angela: Because you are the thot of the group.

symple: Well it takes one to know one.

symple: Aren't Thot jokes just "whore'able?"

angela: FUCK OFF!

Why did you put your dirty ass feet in my grits without telling me all this?

Because I forgot to wash and dry them with a paper towel.

"Nepal is a good place because it has been a great time for me."

Me: What are you?

Jake: A muddeasso.

Do you love water?

Then you love 75% of me.

I asked my mom if I could be Wednesday (from the Addams family). She said no. She said I would look creepy and weird. She said I HAVE TO BE SOMETHING CUTE. The outfit looked ridiculous. Everyone else looked spooky except for me ;-;.

I was wondering why the baseball was getting bigger and bigger, and then it hit me.

I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.

Police: Hey man, look at this! *throws cocaine at fan and it flew back into his face* Me: Are you okay? Police: Looks like I "crack"ed the case.

Is it just me or is your personality fake as well? Can't tell because everything about you is.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places.

He told me to stop going to those places.

Someone lunged at me, armed with an unregistered nurse. I hit the floor.

I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.

What does a Right-Winger say when he sees a rainbow above the sky?

"A colorful sky? That's too woke for me. Jesus and our ancestors would have never stood for this!"

My best friend is black. It really pissed me off when my mom sold him.