ME jokes

My sister is so ugly that she had to have a child with me to keep the family tree going.

So one time I was with my girlfriend, crazy, right? But we were doing a TikTok eye follow challenge, and she pulled up a pic of Gwen Stacy from Into the Spider-Verse, and I looked somewhere I shouldn’t have, and she smacked me, and I changed to the Rock, and you know where she looked? WTF, right in the no-no square, and since she was a girl, all I could do was sit back and watch.

What did the blonde say when I told a rape joke?

"Can you show me what rape is?"

The amount of women judging me for raping a poor lady is terrible. You weren't there. You don't know!

An orphan's favorite Roblox game is Adopt Me.

I work in a garage, and yesterday a gay person came up to me and said, "Why won't my car go straight?"

I used to hate foot fungus, but now it's growing on me.

Is it just me, or do these gays need to leave me alone?

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖

One day I was with my mom and we had no money on the credit card, and we live far, and my mom was hungry.

A guy and his friend had a car and asked us if we were lost. We said no, we have no ride, no money, and my mom is hungry. So the guy would take us for a blowjob each, so I was driving the car and my mom gave both guys a blowjob. We had to get out of the car to look for something, then the two guys went in the car and told us we got bad news and good news. I asked what the bad news was. They said that they're not taking us home, so I asked what the good news was. They told me that they fed my mom and drove off. I guess where they left us wasn't a long walk and my mom wasn't hungry anymore.

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

One day at school, I made fun of a girl who lost her hair from cancer, and my parents made me shave my head.

The next day at school, I made fun of an orphan.

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

When an African has a twin, your me??

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?

Roses are red, get on your knees, and bark for me!

"Officer, don’t arrest me, she said she was 5 in dog years!"

I didn't know I raped her. I thought she wanted me to hurry up.

I could tell my cousin you are so annoying, but she told me first, so we both said it at the same time. 🫣🤣😂

Egg shaped, dome, bowling ball lookin' ass, bald fuck with that 360 degrees ahh head, motherfucker look like a damn balloon.

Call me Kobe 'cause I'm finna use your head as a basketball and throw it at yo' parents. Mr. Clean, bootleg Saitama lookin' ass mfer. No hair? :(