ME jokes
Me: Where's your mom?
Kid: [cries]
Me: [leaving from the adoption center]
You're gay.
Bro, I am straighter than the pole that your mom dances on for me every night.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
My mom told me to be positive...
I was heading to an HIV test.
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
I’ll never forget my Grandfather’s last words to me just before he died. “Are you still holding the ladder?”
A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.
“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”
Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.
The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.
B: Can you please stop roasting me?
A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.
What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? "I want you inside me."
One time, a man got mad at me because I was hitting on his girlfriend. Like come on, man, it was only a couple of bruises!
I forgot the world revolves around you. My apologies! How silly of me.
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.
Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.
Kids changing the channel to Annie.
Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.
TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.
Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!
Mrs. Kadie, I just heard about a FGTEEV video about vegan nuggets.
Duddy: Sup FGTEEVERS, me and James Marsden just got some Chick-fil-A.
Viewers: Got ya again Mrs. Kadie.
Mrs. Kadie: Vincent and James, I am going to push you off your roof.
Duddy and James: AHHHHHHH!
My bully: Your face is ugly.
Me: Yeah well your mom is so fat she broke the stairway to heaven.
My bully: :(
I was wondering why the tennis ball was getting bigger 🤔
Then it hit me 🤧😂
Why am I still alive?
Pills give me stomachaches, blood makes me faint, height frightens me...
My mom told me to recycle the trash. I guess I’m taking you for another bike ride!