Hi! Welcome to Papa John's abortion clinic where yesterday's meat is todays treat. How may I be of service?
You may not rest, there are monsters nearby”
-Sun Tzu, The Art of War.
My dad may be working, but the coping mechanisms sure aren't
i remember last year all these biches called me lame so i stoped the simping and pretended i was gay, now i think theyre all fucking with me. im an L G B T Q imposter got cut last year know ive made the roster and you may think im a monester. im just just tryna see some titties.
My mom told me ̈YOU SON OF A B!TCH. ̈ i told her ̈i may be a son of a b!ch butat least i am not the bitch ̈. she hated me forever.
EXERCISE?
i thought you said "Extra Fries"
-a minion (you may now laugh)
If you hate what you hear from Nickelback, at least you can get your nickel back.
If you have to deal with the noise from Deftones... unfortunately, not only are you unable to obtain any refund, but you may have become permanently deaf.
Ring.. Ring.. Yes this this is Dave from the Orphanage, you make em we take em, how may I be of service?
This boy was in school one day when he became desparate to go to the bathroom. So he asked the teacher, “May I use the bathroom?”
The teacher replied, “No, not unless you say your alphabet.”
So the boy said “a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z.”
When he finished, the teacher asked him, “Where’s the p?”
The boy replied, “Half way down my leg...”
Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.
Tonight, on top gear! James may dives a bus full of kids off a mountain! Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany! and I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What does a Chinese man say to his partner when having sex? "Ching Chong Soc Mai Ding Dong"
Foreplay in may areas: "You awake?" ; and way down South : "You awake, mom?"
How may times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh Ten-tickles!
Welcome to Jimmy’s orphanage and pizza shop where today’s loss is a sauce how may I help you
The pastor sees little Johnny sitting on the church steps. Little Johnny is fixated on something. The pastor looks closer and sees that Johnny is stirring up something in an old coffee can. He says, "What you got there little Johnny?" "This here is turpentine, the most POWERFUL liquid in the world.", says Johnny. The pastor shakes his head, sits down next to Johnny and says, "Now you know that's not true son. Holy water is the most powerful liquid in the world. One drop of holy water on a pregnant woman's stomach and the next morning she'll pass a baby boy." Little Johnny says, "Well that may be true. But one drop of this on a cats ass and he'll pass a motorcycle!"
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
Gwen: Hi sir how are you? Tj: Good... you? Gwen: I am super duper good! And where is your date It seems like you need one 😉! Tj: 😏. Gwen: Here this is your guest hall pass...you may...come in my friend! Tj: Thanks but um don't you think you should be um getting in side too? Gwen: 🙁. No thanks sir but I have to work...I am the staff so bye! 😁. Tj: NO!!!!!!
1 day later. Gwen: 🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤕🤰🤰🤰👩👧👦
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony? May divorce be with you.
This joke includes potentially sensitive content.
