whats a mans favorite thing that starts with m and ends with arraige
Miscarriage
A wife is like a grenade. Pull the ring and the house is gone.
A guy walks into a bar with a 44 magnum and says, "Who the fuck's been fucking my wife?" The room goes silent. The guy in the back finishes his beer and says, "You ain't got enough bullets."
I remember asking my mum: "What's a couple?". She replied, "Two or three". Which probably explains her collapsed marriage.
Why do orphans want to get married so bad?To have someone to call "daddy"
jfk wife trying to grab his head be like him in haven why did i marrei her welp time for a devorsin
I don't like marriage, it's just like soup, as soon as your done spooning it all cools off
why was the people's wedding so miserable... cause during the kiss someone farted so loud and stinky they agreed to never try to have another wedding
You’re so short you would need a lift to kiss your bride.
i hate my wife. * cue laugh*
Why Didn't Neptune Marry Saturn?
Because He knew He wasn't Hot!
A man who drinks a lot is told by his that if he ever gets drunk again she will leave him. Later the man goes to a pub and drinks a lot and throws up all down his jacket. 'Oh no.' He says to his friend' if I go home like this again, my wife will leave me.' 'Dont worry' his friend says. 'Put a £20 note in your jacket pocket. When your wife challenges you, produce the money and say another man threw up on you and gave you the £20 note for the dry cleaning.' 'Brilliant!' the man says and goes home. He walks through his front door and his wife sees him. She is furious. 'No no' the man says producing the money from his inside pocket. 'A man threw up on me and gave me £20 for the dry cleaning.' 'Whats the other £20 note for?' asks his wife. 'Ah, that's from the man who shat in my pants.....'
Roses are red violets are blue YOU HAVE AN ARRANGED MARRIAGE WAITING FOR YOU...
Wife is texting husband- Honey if I give you 300 dollars will you stop being blind? husband-seilghsielguG Wife- seriously David Husband-fuweyadb
If i send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester
What's the difference between my wife and a battery? I can't use a battery when it dies.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive. I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked "How is that supposed to work?". I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.
What did one cheese say to the other cheese?
"Hello, its a nice day, do you have any plans on what your going to do?"... The other cheese was taken back by his politeness and friendliness, they agreed to meet again, and were soon married and lived happily ever after. Let this tale of the two cheeses inspire you to be a better person.
if your wife dies of child birth can you press charges on the baby
