After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
Why do melons always have big weddings?
Because they cantaloupe!/
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
My wife caught me one day for watching a porn channel, so I quickly turned the TV to a fishing channel. On her way out, she said: "You should stay on the porn channel. You know how to fish!"
Wife:hi babe Husband:Hey Wife:Do u wanna Husband:YES Wife:Ok make sure you have a towel to go to the beach Husband:WHAT you mean go to the beach Wife:yes what did u think i ment Husband:oh nothing bye Wife:Bye see u there
Husband: Honey, Do you want sex? Whife: No thanks i have a headache. Husband: Is that your final answer? Whife: Mmmmm. Husband: Are you shure? -Whife Yes Husband: No doubts? Whife: No Husband starring a long time at his whife. Husband: Okey, I wanna use my lifeline to call a friend. -
I said to my wife that she's that ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back
my wife accused me of cheating I told her she started to sound like my wife
Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍
After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.
My wife left me and took the kids
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump? Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
If sex before marriage is a sin, is sex after marriage cos or tan?
What did Melania ever see in Donald Trump?
$2 billion and high cholesterol.
My wife called me ugly and then when she fount out how much money i actually make she called me ugly and broke
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.
A week before Christmas my wife left me, she said I was too selfish and full of myself and she could not take it anymore. On Christmas eve Santa asked me what I wanted for Christmas and I said, "all I want is the one I love more than anyone else in the world." On Christmas morning I woke up in a box under my Christmas tree.
what does a necrophiliac get at a wedding? mourning wood
What starts with the letter M, ends with -arriage and is a man's favorite thing? Miscarriage. That joke never gets old, just like the baby.
Lady: I am going to come to your house.
Man: ok. An hour later, the lady is at the mans house. The man meets her outside of the house.
Man: you are going to cum to my house!
And then he fucks her.
A middle schooler and his dad were at a drugstore. The boy picked up a pack of 3 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for high schoolers: 1 for Friday, 1 for Saturday, and 1 for Sunday." The boy then picked up a 6 pack of condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for college students: 2 for Friday, 2 for Saturday, and 2 for Sunday." The kid then picked up a pack of 12 condoms and asked his dad who they were for. The dad said, "They're for married men: 1 for January, 1 for February..."
