Many jokes
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
I have so many orphan jokes. I'm afraid most of them won't hit home.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
If you go to the military and you get sent to a country, how many heads will you blow off?
That number is how many dicks you suck.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
ya boy edp is back many years later
Cheese, a beloved food item across the globe, has a rich history, diverse varieties, and significant nutritional value. Originating over 7,000 years ago, cheese has evolved from a method of preserving milk to a culinary staple enjoyed in countless dishes and cuisines.
The diversity of cheese is truly astounding. From the creamy Brie of France to the sharp Cheddar of England, the smoky Gouda of the Netherlands to the tangy Feta of Greece, each variety of cheese reflects the culture and geography of its origin. The process of cheese-making, while sharing a common foundation, varies greatly, resulting in differences in texture, flavor, and appearance. This diversity is a testament to human ingenuity and the rich tapestry of global food culture.
In terms of nutrition, cheese is a valuable source of protein, calcium, and vitamins such as B12. However, it's also high in fat and sodium, which means it should be consumed in moderation as part of a balanced diet. Despite this, the unique flavors and textures of cheese make it a cherished part of many people's diets.
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.
How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house?
None because they don't have a home.
Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?
Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.
Student: Ok!!
Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?
Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.
Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.
Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.
Why do most clips for automatic weapons have 32 bullets?
That's usually how many kids are in a classroom.
How many gangsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
35! Do you have a problem with that?
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing bet of one thousand dollars that their bartender could squeeze a lemon dry until all the juice ran into a glass, and anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried but failed. Over time, weight lifters, lumberjacks, men in the Army, and etc. But still, nobody could do it.
One day, a scrawny little man came in wearing thick glasses and a cheap suit and said in a tiny squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter had died down, the bartender said, "okay," and he grabbed a lemon and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rhine to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the one thousand dollars and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight lifter, or what?" The man simply replied, "I work for the IRS."
How many emos does it take to fix a light?
I don't know because they never came down.
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
Mr. Smith had four daughters. Each of his daughters had a brother. How many children does Mr. Smith have?
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None, they just sit in the dark and cry.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.