Many jokes
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
Why do American guns only have 30 bullets?
'Cause that's how many kids are in a class.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How many dead children does it take to change the light in a basement?
More than ten, apparently.
Yo mama's hairline got so many peaks and valleys, you thought you were looking at the Grand Canyon.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
I saw names carved into a tree and thought it was romantic. Until I realized how many people bring knives on dates.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?
Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.