Many jokes
Why was Michael Jackson so loved? He touched so many children in so many special ways.
How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
More than 10, since my basement's still dark.
Why did the DJ go to therapy?
Because he had too many issues with his TURNTABLE.
How many genders are there?
One, women are property.
Your mama has slept with so many guys, she's starting to look like one.
How many Quebecers does it take to change a lightbulb?
4!
One to hold the bulb, two to turn the chair he's standing on, and one to sing "Alouette, gentille alouette!"
How many East Asians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Tu.
How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, they just like hanging in the dark.
Blue: The ocean is a place where the creatures live.
Black: NIGHTMARES LIVE!
Blue: It has many pretty things and it will-
Black: KILL YA TO DEATH! Especially if you are on Titanic! So let that sink in. PUN INTENDED!
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Did you hear about the crime in the parking garage? It was wrong on so many levels.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.
How many optometrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One (flips lens) or two? One (flips another lens) or two?
How many racist jokes am I allowed to make?
None.
Because I don't make jokes.
How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
How many men does it take to open a bottle of beer?
A: None, it should be opened by the time she brings it.