I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
Many Jokes
So, one day a teacher asked, "How many of you have thought of committing suicide?" Half of the class raised their hand, but the teacher said, "Where are Jesse and John?"
Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because itβs talon-ted!
Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
How many kids does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them. ππππ
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
"{[(Log date) 11 22 3] The Beginning} "This marks the first ever log of the Underground Fruit Association of n&c (ugfa). N, being code name for Nathaniel, and C, being code name for Connor. Our plan is to collect as many fruit cups as possible by the end of the year. This site will be a communication hub only and used for nothing else. We will plan and discuss courses of action, and collection." End of log"
Why do so many people hate Bill Cosby? I mean, all he did was have affairs with drunk, attention-seeking women. They literally begged for it.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
How many times can you subtract 10 from 100?
Once. The next time you would be subtracting 10 from 90.
Wow, why so many of the same joke?
How many LGBT supporters does it take to change a lightbulb?
The lightbulb is fine the way it is. Society just needs to change the way it looks at it.
*WARNING* THIS WILL NEVER GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD - READ IF YOU DARE.....
What came first? The chicken or the egg?
Which came first? The color orange or the fruit?
Who taught the first ever teacher?
If you expect the unexpected, doesn't that make the unexpected expected?
If you describe something as 'indescribable', then haven't you already described it?
In the word 'scent', is the silent letter the 's' or the 'ce'?
Why do your lips touch when they say the word 'separate', but don't touch when you say the word 'together'?
How many photos do you think you could be in the background of?
The guy who discovered cow milk, what was he doing with that cow?
Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, "Oh no, it's a cop"?
Is it possible to cry underwater?
If two left handers have an argument, who is right?
I warned you!! You just didn't listen.... :O
Why did the Mushroom get invited to so many parties?
He was a fungi!
Thereβs so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I canβt tell if weβre protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
There are 50 dogs and 48 cats.
How many are hungry?
A. 10
How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know, they just keep Putin them in.
Why are so many people mean to orphans?
They canβt cry to their parents.
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
