Many Jokes

My dad told me that his dreams were shatterd a few years ago

Then i asked him how many years ago

He replied with ”when were you born?”

Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs

How many animals can jump higher than a skyscraper? -- All of them, skyscrapers can't jump.

How many babies does it take to light up a basement?

I don't know, my basement is still dark.

How many times does Ariana Grande knock at the door? She doesn’t, she just uses 7 rings.

How many orphans does it take to screw a light bulb in there house

None because they don't have a home

How many children can you fit in a box?

Maybe five if you have a trash compactor.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

More than three because the basement is still dark!

How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.

How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? 7 when i tried

So one day a teacher asked how many of you have thought of committing suicide half of the class raised their hand but the teacher said “ Where is Jesse and John “ ?

Why doesn't anyone play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London ?

All the exit signs were in English

The guy in the wheelchair at my gym can do so many pull-ups with the wheelchair on, but I said to him "Don't skip leg day."

I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had I said “yes”

Why is the eagle a bird with many skills? Because it’s talon-ted!!

“Poor old fool,” thought the gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. He invited the old man inside for a drink. The gentleman asked, “So how many have you caught today?

”The old man replied, “You’re the eighth.”