How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Ten tickles.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
None, that's a hardware problem.
How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It's some weird number. You probably never heard of it.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.
Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages?
Because there were too many knights.
How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Just Juan.
