Many jokes
The cancer patient asked the doctor how many more months he had to live. The doctor replied, "Tu-more."
How many Americans does it take to fill the Grand Canyon?
4
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
How many South Africans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A Brazilian.
How many times does 43 go into 8?
Get in the van and find out.
How many astronauts can you fit into a VW Bug? 11, 4 in the seats, seven in the ashtray.
How many oz of water does it take to screw a light bulb?
None, also what the heck are you doing with water when people in Africa don’t have any?
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
What do you call it when a watch has too many belts?
A waist of your time.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
How many babies does it take to shingle a roof? Depends on how thin you slice them. -Hope Marie Lawson
How many times do you tickle an octopus to get it to laugh?
Ten-tickles!
There are 5 cats on a boat, and 1 jumps off. How many are left?
Zero, they were copycats.
How many babies does it take to make dinner?
Three to four; there's not a lot of meat on them.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.