Mammal jokes
What is a four-legged animal called that can fly?
A donkey flying in the sky running away from me.
Why do dwarfs suck a cow's udder instead of being breastfed? Because they are too short.
I would never kill an animal. I'm more of a people person.
Why do giraffes have such long necks?
Because their feet smell!
A baby seal walks into a club...
Q: What type of mother gives their daughter sperm? A: A furry mother.
What do you call a three-humped camel?
Pregnant.
7000+ bats.
What does a bear beat off with?
His bear hands.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
Why didn't the bear leave home?
He could not bear leaving his family.
Why did the chipmunk swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.
What do you call a deer with no ear?
One ear.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a dabbing cow?
Udder savagery.
A panda goes to see a hooker. He goes down on her, he mates with her, he ejaculates and then he attempts to walk away.
The working girl asks, "Aren't you going to pay me?"
She opens the dictionary to "Prostitute: One who sells sexual companionship for money."
The panda picks up the dictionary and turns to the definition "Panda: A marsupial who eats, roots, shoots, and leaves."
Why can't cheetahs play any games?
Because they're cheetahs!
Why don't cheetahs say goodbye?
Because they are not going to work.
How do you get a koala to die? Kill it.
Why can't antelopes get married?
Because they can't elope.