Mama jokes

Yo mama is so old, I told her to act her age, and she died.

Yo mama so fat Trump built a wall around her and not the border.

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

Yo mama so poor, she chased a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she went for plastic surgery, they accidentally gave her face a Brazilian Butt Lift!

Yo mama so dumb, she put a watch in a piggybank and said she was saving time.

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!

Yo mama so fat...

...people in Florida start buying flood insurance when they see her waddling toward the ocean.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to fill her car with Vin Diesel.

Yo mama is so fat when she goes to the dentist, they make her lay face down.

Yo mama so fat, when they buried her, they named her Everest. Mount Everest.

Yo mama so fat when someone asked her to touch her chin, she asked, "Which one?"

Yo mama is so ugly, they tried to get her to act the part for Godzilla!

Yo mama so fat that she would die before reaching the gates of heaven.

Yo mama so fat, she went to the moon without leaving Earth.

Yo mama so fat that she's social distancing from herself.

Yo mama is so dumb, when she had a brain scan, the result was 404...

Yo mama is so dumb, she spent all her money on free subscriptions!