Mama Jokes

Yo Mama is so FAT, it wasn't an iceberg that sank it, she was called, "THE MAMABERG!"

Yo mama so stupid, she shoved two AA batteries up her ass and started singing, "I’ve Got The Power!"

Yo mama so poor, she chased a garbage truck with a shopping list.

Little Johnny was in kindergarten, and his teacher said, "Okay, everyone, tomorrow you must come to school and recite the first three letters of the alphabet." Johnny didn't know the alphabet, so he decided to ask his family. He walked into the kitchen to find his mom on the phone. He says, "Mama, what's the first letter of the alphabet?" His mom doesn't notice him standing there and says, "If you don't shut the fuck up right now-" So he goes to find his brother watching TV, and he says, "Tommy, what's the second letter of the alphabet?" His brother doesn't notice him and says, "I'm Batman." So he went to his grandma who was knitting and says, "Grandma, what's the third letter of the alphabet?" The grandma then realizes she left her biscuits in the oven for too long and says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!" Satisfied with the answers given to him, he thinks it over and goes to school the next morning. When his teacher comes to Johnny, she says, "Johnny, what are the first three letters of the alphabet?" "If you don't shut the fuck up right now," Johnny says. "Who do you think you are, young man, to talk to someone like me that way?" the teacher asks. "I'm Batman," Johnny says. The teacher whups his ass, and little Johnny says, "My biscuits are burning! My Biscuits are burning!"

Later that day, he understands what happened and can't tell which was worse, that he accidentally cussed at his teacher or that his family was ignoring him.

Yo mama is so nasty, she buys sex toys at the second-hand shop.

Yo mama so poor she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.

Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.

Your mama is so fat, when she stepped on the scale the doctor asked for her weight, not her phone number.

Yo mama so fat that when she bought food, she ran out of money.

Yo mama so fat, when she falls, they have to call 999 and a crane to pick her up.

Yo mama was so fat that when she stepped on the scale the scale said: "You gained another pound, nice going fatso, a few more ounces and you can qualify for your own zip code!"