Mama jokes
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Yo' mama so stupid, she returned a donut because it had a hole in it.
Yo' mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
Suck my butts, queer.
Yo mama so fat, she the iceberg.
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Yo mama so fat, she's the reason why Slenderman has no eyes.
Yo mama's so stinky that whenever she walks into a building, the flies drop dead!
Yo mama so old that when she farts, she farts dust!
What is a cow on two legs?
Yo mama!
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
Yo mama so short that when she plays mini golf, it's just called golf.
Yo mama so ugly that on Halloween she didn't get candy.
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
You mom.
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
Puerto Rican teen: I'm a waste, a failure, NUNCA LO PODRA ASER (I'll never be able to do it).
The mother: AI NINO (OH CHILD).
The teen: QUE? (WHAT?)
The mother: NO TE PONGA CON ESTA MIELDA OTRAVES! (DON'T START WITH THIS SHIT AGAIN!)
The teen: I CAN'T DO SHIT RIGHT MAMA!
The mother: OOOHHH YEAH WELL TU SI PUEDES ABLAR MIELDA DE TI, I BOTAR BASURA! (YOU SURE CAN TALK CRAP ABOUT YOURSELF AND THROW OUT THE TRASH.)
The teen: QUAL (WHICH).
The mother: MADRE DE DIOS (MOTHER OF GOD).
The teen: AVIA UNA NEGRA I OTRA BLANKA (THERE WAS A BLACK ONE AND WHITE ONE).
*A phone buzzes.*
The teen: Whose phone is that, ma?
Unknown: MR. PRESIDENT IF YOU TAKE AWAY THE CONFEDERATE FLAG HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHO THE BAD WHITE PEOPLE ARE?
*Runs to bag, opens white one and sticks hand in.*
The teen: HAIR GEL
Hey, Hunger Games... I'm full!!
This ain't your mama's monologue.