The other day I went on a romantic cruise in Hawaii then I met my girl zendaya on board she was shaking her ass and playing with her penis then she ask me hey you wanna make love in the cabin? i said sure sweet thang gave me her number kiss me on the cheek. Next day she woke up because it was a romantic nightmare.



Can i make you a basketball cake for dessert? Yeah you sure can but do be having all your balls in it it will taste nasty.



The lasagna i just cook is for me my friends and family you don’t get none because your name is not on the list. You wanna know why cause you got the whole place smelling like catdog and ass.



This dude right here don’t look nothing like no damn tyrese gibson. He look like a hot fishy tail termite all dress in green makeup.



Everytime I’m come straight home from work you in the bed sleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket. Then the next thing I noticed you just came back from the dead in no time dummy.



Yo look they give me and my girl free pizza and a big bottle of rabbit wine yay yay don’t drink too much of it you might turn into a wine rabbit.



Hey my man why you got them damn old stanky looking whoopi Goldberg cornrows on you head? Are y’all twins or boyfriend and girlfriend cause if y’all are go get married in color purple land.



Where can a male and female rabbit make love at? The rabbit house or the rabbit hole?



So my sister was eating Now&Laters, and I continuously heard smacking sounds. So I told her can you stop smacking its annoying. Then she said I cant its a juicy type of candy. So I said, I can stop the candies from making that sound. Then she said how? So I smacked her. :)


funny but not

How do you make a plumber die

You kill his family



Bubba couldn’t make rent so he offered to sleep with the landlady instead. I think he forgot he lived in his mom’s basement.


Anonymous 666

Trump is so orange that he makes the oompa loompa’s look white.



I tried making vegetable soup yesterday But I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.


Elks Rumples

Just because I don’t like Lewis Hamilton, doesn’t make me racist.

Twin Towers


I don’t like making jokes about 9/11, my grandad died in it, he was the greatest pilot I ever knew

Last Word


if i could make someone tell me there last words theyd say " Make me"



All-star gay mix

Somebody once told me The world is gonna rape me The dick’s the hardest part of the body She looked like she’s having fun With her finger and her thumb In the shape of an “L” in her bumhole

Well, I started cumming And she started cumming Fed with dick, she’s in love with bumming Didn’t make sense not to live for bum Your dick gets hard, but your ass gets numb

So much to fuck, so much to suck So what’s wrong with eating the asshole? You’ll never know if you don’t try You’ll never taste if you don’t lick

Hey now, you’re a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you’re a porn star Suck a schlong, ass frail And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg

It’s a gay place and they say it gets gayer You’re licking bum now, wait 'til your a bit older But the bent boys beg to differ Judging by the hole in the homeless mans throat

The sperm in the bath is getting pretty thin The sperms getting warm so you might as well swim My world’s on cocaine, how about yours? That’s the way I like it and I never get raped!

Hey now, you’re a porn star Get your sex on, bum pain Hey now, you’re a porn star Suck a willy, ass frale And all that glitters is cum Only sperm heads break the female egg



Roses are red Violets are blue We’re gonna make love Because I’m stronger than you


Just call me..............

I was making sandcastles with my Nan then my mum came in the room and took away the urn.



MAN A: ‘‘is google male or female’’?

MAN B: ‘‘female because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion’’.