Why shouldn't you make an orphan cry?
Because they won't have a parent to cry to.
"Rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, When the wind blows, the baby will drop. Then the baby will lay on the ground, Not moving a muscle, not making a sound."
What makes Mrs Grape 🍇 a good mother?
Raisin her kids
Daughter: Mommy?
Mom: Hey.
Daughter: What kind of kids do they use to make Sour Patch Kids?
Mom: They don’t use kids to make Sour Patch Kids.
Daughter: Oh, that’s why the ones I made taste kind of funny...
For every dollar a man makes, a woman makes 70 cents.
That’s unfair! Now the man only has 30 cents!
I make baby mush.
What did the train made of glue make?
GLUE GLUUUUUUUUUUUE!
Me: *finds out my dad's an orphan*
No one:
Literally no one:
Me: Time to make his life hell.😈
If you’re gonna have a gangbang, make it extreme!
Little Johnny is watching his dad shave one morning, and his dad was making a lot of mistakes. Suddenly, his dad screams, "Bitches and asses!" Johnny asks what it meant, and his dad replied, "Aunts and uncles." Oh.
Next thing he hears is, “Dicks and pussies!” Johnny asks, "What's that mean?" To which his dad replied, "Uh, coats and hats." Oh. Next thing he knows, he sees his dad jumping around the bathroom yelling, "Fucking, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" "What does that mean, Dad?" And his dad yells, "Cut Johnny, it means cut!!!" Oh.
Next week is Thanksgiving, and the doorbell rings. Johnny answers it and says, "Hey, bitches and asses, hang your dicks and pussies here, Dad's in the kitchen fucking the turkey."
What's big, bounces, and makes little kids cry?
My donation to the orphanage :)
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
I have an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow, u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller.
My Emo friend was coming over to my house. When he got there, he said, "Got a rope?" I asked why, and he said, "I want to make a swing."
Uder the sheets.
Under the sheeeets. Me and your mother making your brother.
Under the sheets. Do do do do dododoodoooddododoodo.
SEX KIDS FUCKING VIRGINS
Life is a lot like a penis. Its relaxed, and just hanging there.
It's women that make it hard.
I have one policy, and that is to not make fun of black people.
Sorry, Jesus. You were white in the Bible pictures.
Your forehead is so big it makes Megamind's head look small.
What's the difference between a good TV show and a gay man?
One makes your day and one makes your whole week.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
