(First Person) :Knock Knock, Who there? (2nd Person): Lemme talk to you, when we finna slide, what we finna do, Knock Knock, who there, time to make a move, slayin all then demons and we gotta move in too. (Second Person): Knock Knock, (1st p): who there, let me talk to you, be careful where you stepin out cause you aint bullet proof, Knock Knock, who there? time to make a move, block is full of shooters, and they didnt come to hoop.
I make weed disappear, what's your super power?
My boss said she would’ve loved to meet bill Cosby as a child. I don’t get why im getting arrested, I was just making sure he dream came true
How do you make a Trash Can leak? HIT IT WITH AN AXE UNTIL IT BECOMES PART OF THE COSMOS
Everyone tells me I need to stop making prostitute jokes. I guess they're whoreibble
What's the one thing that makes a depressed person jump? A bridge.
When God make white people he said "FUCK I'M OUT OF PAINT"
Why Hollywood doesn't make a good Movie about holocausts? because it's so hard to skin Jewish characters
A make a wish patient wanted to see Black panther IRL so I pulled his plug
I will make a funny joke if u let me be your boyfriend. Im 19 and i am russian.
the titanic movie cost $200 million dollars to make, meanwhile the titanic ship cost $400 million to construct. Titanic was made by Paramount and 20th Century Fox. CHEAPSKATES!
Opposite day be like in doors
Figure : finally I can see
Eyes: Nnnnnoooo I'm blind. Figure I'm sorry i made fun if u all those other times pls don't make fu. Of me
Figure: ok eye promise eye won't.
Eyes: 😭
Id make a joke about pizza, but its too cheesy. I know yall have too thick of a crust to get it!
I'd make a joke about the chin bones, but yall couldnt mandle it
I should probably stop making jokes about 9/11 My dad died to it, he was a great piolet
Why do people come on here just to say that we should not be making these jokes they literally look this shit up just to complain
Shit if somebody invades America the Crips and the Bloods are gonna call a truce so that they can get the big toys out and call Geneva achievement. White women would ride into battle riding lions, tigers, and bears while claymore-strapped rhumbas swept the streets. There's a reason Putin keeps threatening to boom boom us with the boom booms and make you see x-rays before you go go. We have freaking cannibals still. Hell, we have more guns than people. Dodging bullets have become a rite of passage. Just look at how we raise our kids on caffeine and M16s playing Call of Duty. Then we send them into the warzone known as the American public education system with no weapons. No means to protect themselves other than with their fists. Here Timmy, fight off the bullets with your bare fist and hope you can zig-zag. Hell, the quiet kids in this country start dropping bodies just cause you teased them. The fuck you think's gonna happen when Timmy can't get his damn chicken nuggets and you took his internet out? Hell the gangs in America would no longer make their money off the drugs illegally. They'd be our medics and taking bets on kill shots. Don't even get me started on the unhinged millennials the moment they can't get their mood stabilizers. War crimes would become an art form and we'd run around like we playing Pokemon. GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL! Americans would turn war crimes into an extreme sport while the military stands back and records it just so they can show the rest of the world the example of why not to fuck with us. Shit Geneva Convention would turn into a to-do list on every American household fridge. We take that shit so seriously we'd have comedy central sending Kevin Hart to tell us rules for engagement. Racism in America would be single-handedly by ended as Billy Bob and Tyrone high five because they think they just unlocked the super secret duck hunt level with foreign paratroopers. Shit somebody please threaten us with a good time. Invade the united states. Let us show you why the first color in our flag is red.
Apparently rich people have the smallest penises, makes sense why bill gates called it "MicroSoft"
I might not be able to make my bed but at least I can get out of it.
3 Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand. The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him. The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied,"It didn't tickle at all. I laughted at the sight the third guy was bringing over a pinapple."
