Why can't orphans be in charge of making web pages? Because they can't add a home page.
What happens when you fail to be an emo you dont make the cut
I was gonna make a joke about sex, but you won’t get it
Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, even time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3
I forgot you cant make depression jokes outside of twitter lmao my coworker was like “you ready for this year to be over?” I was like “im ready for this life to be over” he was like bro what
Therapy -Expensive -Years of hard work -Emotionaly draining -Tough to find
Screaming in the woods -Free -Immediate relief -Scares hunters enough to leave therefore saving innocent animals -Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods
One day my mom told me not to be an acter i said but mommy i will make alot of money!
How do woman make you a millionaire?
When your a billionaire.
what makes squidward and a quandale dingle the same? they both got them big parts.
A woman was sitting alone at a bar and a man approached her. He asked her why she looked so sadly. She responded that her boyfriend had just broken up with her because she was too kinky.
The man expressed his amazement when he admitted that his girlfriend had dumped him because of his fetishes. After a few drinks they decided to go back to her place.
When they arrived she told him to make himself comfortable while she freshened up. The man complied. After a long time she burst open her bedroom door and she said, "I hope you're ready!"
She stood in the doorway wearing a latex body suit and a gas mask. She had a whip in one hand, a flogger in the other hand and a 12 inch strap-on dangling between her thighs.
The dude looked at her and said, "Thanks, but I'm good for the night!"
She said, "I thought you said that you were kinky."
The dude replied, "While you were in there I f-cked your cat, pissed in your plants and came on your curtains. It's been fun!
I cut my dick it is all right now and half the size but makes for excellent breakfest
This the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ
"He said one day, you'll leave this world behind. So live a life you will remember. My father told me when I was just a child, these are the nights that never die. My father told me."
Whenever I think about it deeply it makes me wanna cry :(
If the USA is so good.
Why did they make a USB 🤔🤔
What’s Whitney Houston’s favourite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Read more: 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners
What does a baby computer call his father? Data!
What do you call a bear without any teeth? A gummy bear!
Why did the golfer change his pants? Because he got a hole in one!
Does anyone need an ark? I Noah guy!
How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
I bought a ceiling fan the other day. Complete waste of money. He just stands there applauding and saying “Ooh, I love how smooth it is.”
I don't like making Kobe jokes... they always crash and burn.
i was the person that flew into the twin towers, i have a 2 friends that are both twin and when ever they speak i tell them to shut up because if they don't ill make myself explode in them
It's not nice to make 9/11 jokes my uncle died in 9/11... He was one of al qaeda's best pilots.
I am not making a noose I am making a unsubscribe button for life.
u make sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you
How to improve my beloved Penchester United in 5 easy steps:
1. Sell Casemeiro 🤑 2. Sell Pernandes 🤑 3. Sell Bencho 🤑 4. Sell Trashford 🤑 5. Terminate penaldo 🤑 6. Make Mctominay extend his deal 📝
These came down deep from my heart don’t let me down again, please.